Humility is a good thing
by Bracken-Fae
Summary: Riku's not such a tough guy after all, not so clever neither. Well Yuffie can outsmart him, so, naturally, he can't be that smart... I really dislike summaries and it'd be nice if I didnt have to do them.
1. Chapter 1

Humility is a good thing!

"I'm sorry I can't train with you, it's just…" He took the time to break eye contact and shuffle around uncomfortably like he had practiced "well… I'm a little embarrassed, but I can't keep making excuses. I…" he paused again, and Yuffie's eyes were almost popping out of her eye sockets. "I can't swim." Yuffie thought she could explode. Why wouldn't the stupid boy just come and train with her and old Squallie, it's not like it was going to kill him, she just wanted to provoke some jealousy in Squall, nothing else had worked. So maybe if it did work then he may just get a little bit killed… but he shouldn't mind, he was way too busy pining over Kairi.

"Aw, I'm sorry Riku… that's too bad… I had imagined you as the type, seeing as you used to live on an island and all…" She turned her back and began to walk away, pretending to just leave it. Then she stopped, dead still in her tracks, and snapped up her arm, her index finger pointing to the ceiling in a 'Hey, I know!' kind of manner. "Hey, I know!" She exclaimed. She twizzled (I know that's not actually a word, but it's more imaginative than 'twisted') around enthusiastically, jumped on him and whispered "I'll teach you how! In the secret waterway!" in his ear. This did nothing for Riku's almost certain fear that Yuffie had a crush on him. But what could he do, short of screaming 'leave me alone you hyper bitch'. It was tempting for the poor boy. Yuffie was personally getting a lot of entertainment out of his facial expression, but hid this surprisingly well. To her, Riku was just there because she enjoyed teasing him, he seemed to hate it so much, he was better to tease than Squall, who she only really teased because she wanted _some _male attention, she didn't even really like him that much either. Not many people know that Yuffie is, in fact, or would be if she didn't have a reputation for being the opposite, a girly flirt. Well, not so much girly, but she is, as girls are 'supposed' to be, manipulative in her flirting ways. Perhaps she's flirtier than Kairi, in more subtle ways of course, but anyway, Squall provided a good release for her flirting tactics. A sort of crash dummy thing to try out new ones on. Riku's expression had changed from alarmed to revolt to frightened in about a second, and Yuffie was having an extremely hard time trying not to laugh, but managed to succeed. She was still latched on to him, attempting to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He eventually pushed her off, nodding his now awfully pale head.

Neither of them knew how much they were going to regret this.

* * *

Originally this was going to be a one shot, but, alas, I can't be arsed to make it long. So you'll get chapters is what you'll get. Sorry to people who like long, to be blunt, I don't. Not when I'm writing anyway. So short chapters is what you'll get.

Thanks for reading! And thanks to vampiegurl and alicia22200038 for being the first reviewers!

Bracken xxx


	2. Chapter 2

"**But I love, love, (loathe) the way you'd roll excuses off the tip of your tongue"**

((Yuffie))

"First things first, we meet tomorrow at 2.30 outside the café. Kay chuckeroo?" I was intentionally being annoying by the way. No one tries to get rid of The Great Ninja Yuffie and survives. "I'm having lunch with Squallie there, and he takes sooooooo long to finish, so I'll meet you then. Bye Riki-roo!" I waved goodbye and scampered off.

Next day, I waited for a full ten minutes for that stupid prat Riku. I bet he did it just to make me mad, I thought he was going to stand me up. Because I would not let that happen. But he did turn up eventually, linking arms with this bimbo and flirting like mad. I just knew he was trying to tell me something, I just didn't know what at the time. I waved enthusiastically and rushed up to him, giving him a massive hug and earning a major glare from Bimbo. She muttered her goodbyes and I swear as she tottered off, swaying slightly on her ten-inch or so heels, she muttered 'bitch' to herself. Riku was trying his best to make hazy-eyes at her.

I grabbed Riku's hand and led him off; talking ten to the dozen about how much fun it was having lunch with ol' Squall. I just knew how much he was enjoying it… mwahah. As we walked up the street, looking casually for any shop that would sell anything remotely water-fied, I was making sure I was going to put my plan into action. He was going to be so embarrassed, and I wasn't even going to take him swimming today. Another mwahah, which I almost emitted. 'I'm going to have to watch my brain-mouth co-ordination', I could tell. We were about to walk past the shop I wanted to take him in, when I stopped, pretending to have just seen something in the window by coincidence, and yanked him inside. Ooooh the fun I was going to have!

Humming, I looked around and pointed out, very loudly, all the extremely tight Speedos which we could have invested in. I picked up about a million of the lycra garments very hastily, something I had been practising, trying to make it look to all the onlookers like I was the doting girlfriend and he was the ungrateful one. Mwahah. Anyway, I was sizing them all up on him, holding them up to his middle, shaking my head, and sometimes saying 'quietly' things like:

"No, I know you like that one, but it does make your willy look a bit small, doesn't it honey?"

Let's just say he was the most attractive shade of beetroot at that point. He then just grabbed some of the boxer styley ones and rushed off to the changing rooms, leaving me standing in the middle of the shop still holding all the different swimming shorts in my hands. I pretended to look hurt to the onlookers (who seemed to be quite enjoying the show), then shrugged and went to put phase two into action.

I went into the changing room area, glanced around for a second and then dropped to the floor, shimmying along on my tummy, looking underneath all the doors for feet which looked like they belonged to Riku. Eventually, after a couple of stifled giggles and 'sorry's to men who really didn't want teenagers peeking in on them whilst getting their swimming cozzys on, I found my favourite person, trying on some very fetching navy trunks, which were slightly less… restricting. I stood up and knocked on the door, whispering 'Riku, let me in, I want to see which ones you've decided on'.

There was silence, while he churned things over in his head. I seriously could hear the cogs turning. Eventually he decided that I'd probably cause less commotion if he just let me see and murmured 'one second, let me just pull them on'. I was a bit shocked at this point, but left it, thinking if he was going to just take this lying down, and let me win, then I'd have to up the stakes a little. Finally the door swung open and I slipped in, gaining a couple of odd looks from older women who didn't think this behaviour was 'appropriate'. Ah, they were just jealous 'cause I got to see Riku with not only no shirt on, but with practically nothing on. I almost giggled as I thought this, but the sight of him in the swimming shorts was enough to put an end to my amusement and I had to stop myself from drooling. He was stood there with his hands on his hips, looking directly at me, looking at his… well… needless to say I probably commandeered that gorgeous shade of red he'd been sporting earlier and deepened it a tad, because I suddenly felt really light headed, as though every single blood cell in my body had just gone whoosh to my head. He smirked at me, and I damned him for being sexy, nodded my approval and stumbled out of the changing rooms.

But I was yet to get my revenge. As I went out, ready to wait by the cashier's desk for Riku to appear, I spotted, to my rapture, some blow up arm bands (fluorescent pink, naturally), and a rubber ring in the shape of a flower. They were the only ones left, so, what a shame, I couldn't buy him any, more manly, aids for staying afloat. He was just sauntering out of the changing rooms, eyeing up the almost swooning assistant, when I jumped on him, presenting him with the 'gifts' which I was about to make a very public display of buying.

"Since you can't swim, Riku my darling," I crooned, "I thought I'd just get you these, just in case, you know? Wouldn't want to drown you with my rigorous swimming activities darling" Riku seemed at a loss for words, so I said a brief, "Good." As I went to the cashier, looking behind me as I did in an 'I win' kind of manner.

All in all, a very successful day.

* * *

Chapter two done and I'm going to bugger off and do my textiles homework before (perhaps) doing chapter 3. I'm not sure if I like this, it's a little… I don't know. How are we liking scheming Yuffie? Tell me if there are any changes you guys would make, because I'm not too sure about her myself. 

Thanks for reading; I still don't own anything, since my first disclaimer was only put online about half an hour ago, not much has changed.

Bracken xx


	3. Chapter 3

"**I'm miserable, and you're just getting started"**

((Riku))

She is going to kill me. KILL ME.

You know what she had me doing today?

Confidence building.

Why? I am Riku! Since when do I need confidence?

But what was weirder, was her tactics. She managed to repay me for making her wait to meet me the other day, with the most embarrassing shopping excursion EVER. I'm not exaggerating. Although it was fun to see that look on her face when she joined me in the changing rooms.

Almost too funny…

Anyway. So the midget mite had me walking up to people around town, random ones I've never met before, and starting a conversation with them. She gave me these conversation starters and made me wear her origami around my waist.

1. The weather. Or the stars. There's not really much weather so it'll have to be the stars.

Example: "Wow, would you look at those stars? They're almost as twinkly as that coke can over there. You didn't drop that did you? Because I'm a firm believer in non-littering. We need to keep this beautiful town beautiful…" etc etc.

2. Sexuality/relationships.

Example: "Hello, how are you? That's good. No, actually, I'm not okay. My girlfriend dumped me for another man because she said I was too 'effeminate' and now I think I'm gay and attracted to that fat guy who always talks about munny. Yeah, about how it talks. Yeah."

3. The origami.

Example: "Yes it is nice isn't it? My good friend Yuffie over there made it, she's very good and is a brilliant ninja. Yes, very stealthy. This one time, she sneaked up behind me and jumped on me screaming 'MAD NINJA SKILLZ ATTACK!' and I jumped so high and almost wet myself. Yeah, she is very pretty, isn't she?"

Needless to say, I didn't like the list. However, Yuffie would hit me if I didn't appear to be reading off it. She would also stand close to me and keep waggling her arms to indicate that I should look up at the person's face because it makes you appear more confident. She'd hit me if I didn't do what she said.

I think she enjoys hitting me. They always say that people who have a crush on you are mean to you.

After a few hours of chasing and scaring random citizens of Traverse Town, Yuffie decided that we needed to stop for a coffee break.

"You can order, and pay too. That'll give you some experience with dealing with places where there's large crowds, and hot waitresses. We all know how stuttery you get, Riki-roo."

* * *

Well I'm finished for tonight, thankyou to Laurie my Mercutio and Scarecrow for proofreading this, I dedicate this chapter to you! 

Anyway, I might add some more to this chap, or make a new chapter.

**Disclaimer: I do not own any settings or characters you recognise, Coca Cola, or 'MAD NINJA SKILLZ ATTACK!' which originates in Sonora Faye's story 'When Ninja's Attack!' (thankyou Sonora, told you it'd be my new attack phrase)**

Thanks for reading, Bracken xxx


	4. Chapter 4

"**Let me go"**

((Yuffie))

First, I just have this to say:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (etc and so on)

It was a very, highly embarrassing pickle for Riku yesterday. And you know what I say to that? Good.

I know it's mean to embarrass the poor kid but we must not forget that he ditched me. So now I will use him to make Squally jealous _and _take my revenge by making his over inflated ego not so inflated. Deflated in fact.

You know what he was taking about yesterday at the café? How many girls he has after him, and how it's soooo hard being this dark, tall and handsome type.

I pointed out that he wasn't dark of hair or skin, but he told me, very pompously I might add, that that assumption wasn't right, 'dark' means mysterious. I said well then why don't they _say_ that? He couldn't answer that one. Hah. Yuffie forty gazillion, Riku zero.

I then pointed out, if he was so very cool, then why didn't he hang out with all them 'cool' types that smoked and wore those dark sunglasses and were generally very 'cool'? Oh, and arrogant and pompous and conceited, like him. To my outrage, he just smirked at this comment, stating that he was in fact too cool for even the likes of them!

I don't really agree to be honest.

BUT, just to snub these FALSE ideas of 'coolness' that anyone has of him, I have a plan! A cunning plan, in fact.

Tomorrow, Riku is to be introduced to the water! Not just any water though.

I shall explain.

Recently, there have been many people staying in our faithful ol' Hotel. Lotsa people back entrance highly used. The back entrance which leads onto the secret waterway, which has paddling space! Paddling!

I knock on his door, yelling "Come out, my little gosling! I'll make a swan of you yet!"

He emerges, looking dishevelled and entirely unlike Riku at all.

"Yuffie, I told you not to call on me in the middle of the night anymore. People talk."

I laugh, throwing my head back maniacally and push past him, heading for his chest of drawers. I pull each one open, search for a pair of shorts, then close them, having been unsuccessful. I reach the top drawer, which I know will be assigned to underwear and socks. I peek over my shoulder at him. He's watching me, a disturbed look playing on his face. He sees me reach for the knob. He dives, shouting "What the hell are you doing?!", and falls just short, landing at my feet.

"Ssh, Riki-roo. You'll wake the neighbours." I pull out a pair of his longest, dingiest boxer shorts, giggling at the pair of Y-fronts hidden at the bottom. "You need to be up early for your extensive training programme. You're on my watch now, so put these on, and we'll be off. Need to warm up, do a few stretches, ya know?"

I thrust them in his face.

He doesn't like it, but I sit on his bed so he can't get back in. He grumbles into the bathroom, saying something about needing to clean his teeth and shower.

I check my breath and underarms at this point.

"Yuffie, Yuffie" The monster which has ensnared me in its freezing grasp is prodding me and then shaking me alternately. It also smells suddenly clean and surprisingly yummy… actually… kind of familiar…

Okay scrap that, it was just Riku waking me up.

"It's freezing in here Riku!" I push the nice-smelling-ness out of my mind, and sit up, rubbing my bare arms.

"You're hardly wearing anything and you're not used to not moving every second to keep the blood pumping" I stick my tongue out at him and he retaliates, even adding the very stylish and disdainful 'mmm' sound that small children make.

I decide at this point that things are getting too strange, and glance at the fluorescent alarm clock on Riku's bedside cabinet.

"Eight o' clock?! You took two hours getting ready!?" I look him up and down, deciding to add an insult in there just for good measure "And you don't even look that good."

He gives me a withering look, but I know that he doesn't usually take that long. When I realise that he probably thought I'd just go away if he took ages, I decide the torment has to start. Now.

I dance over the rooftops, doing the odd cartwheel.

"Come on, Riku!" I shout down at him, nodding politely to an alarmed looking woman, "Get those knees up! I know it's hard going for you but if you didn't eat all those cream cakes…"

He gives me the finger and the woman looks even more shocked. I grin at her, deciding that at least 12 hand gestures is enough. He has been running for over an hour, too.

His hair's all sticking to his face and I should probably get him to change before we do our _actual _activity for the day, but I'd rather make him feel as comfortable as possible. Even though it probably won't smell too good.

Jumping down, I grab his wrist and drag him to the second district, to the shallow rectangles filled with cooling water. I invite him to take his sweaty trainers off and bathe his 'sweltering feet' in the 'cooling stream'. He likes this idea. I invite him to stand up, wade in a little further from the edge. He does so.

Then I stand on one of the crates and announce, very loudly, that this is the first stage of his training. When a woman with a small child looks up at me inquisitively, I say:

"Yes, I'm teaching Riku here how to swim. We're starting with little baby steps - today, paddling. I could teach your son if you'd like, he'd probably be quicker to learn than Riku over there. Alright, bye!"

Riku does not look impressed. He almost looks as if he might strangle me.

"I'll join you!" I say, hoping that this might satiate his anger a little. I hop in, jumping around and kicking water up at him. He laughs, the first time today, and I forget my mission of embarrassment in my enjoyment of the game.

The strange looks don't bother me, but when Riku hears that bunch of 'cool kids' he's been going on about, he wigs and jumps out.

I hear them myself, what with my ninja senses and all. Bit of quick thinking, and I jump on his back, screaming "piggy back me, piggy back me!"

He loses his balance, slipping backwards into the water and landing on his ass.

I scream with laughter as they walk round the corner just in time to witness the whole thing.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (etc and so on)

They carry on walking, laughing as they go. Riku's not cool enough to stop for anymore. Score!

Except now he's mega mad… he's closing in!

I back away, slowly, hands up in front of me. Hopefully, he'll be distracted by something else or remember that he's not supposed to be able to swim, so going in the secret waterway is not a good idea.

His long, quick strides mean he catches up no problem, and we end up, once more, teetering on the edge of water.

It's inevitable, the big splash and sprawling limbs, but I can't say that I don't like the sight of a soaking wet, gasping, hair-stuck-to-head Riku.

* * *

**Disclaimer: Nothing the sum total of what I own. Except of course storyline... but that's not really existent, so we'll just settle at nothing. **


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